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 | VoicePost  27K 0:09 | (no transcription available) |
Oops...I did it again. LOLI whacked my hair off day before yesterday. It looks bad here, but it looks worse in person. *snort*
Anyhoo...here ya go...me in all my short-haired glory.
- Location:On My Bed
- Mood:
crappy - Music:P!nk "Catch Me While I'm Sleeping"
I am so effin excited!!
My brother and I are going to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D! I don't know when just yet, but like it really matters as long as I am going to see it!
WOO HOO!!!!
I seriously cannot wait!
For anyone who wants to know more about it, go here:
http://myspace.com/nightmare3d
Or here:
http://nightmare3Dmovie.com
- Location:On My Bed
- Mood:
content - Music:Clay Aiken "Lonely No More"
DIET.
It's because we love comfort food like chocolate and everything else along the lines of cake, pie, ice cream, etc.
However, there are alternatives.
I discovered I liked the soreness you get from exercising. It's pretty weird, I know, but I do.
I am going on a diet, because I want to. I have always been a person-even way back when I was super dooper shy-who did not give a flying fuck what anyone thought about the way I looked. I told myself I would only ever change for me.
Well, that was true-and remains so.
I found this super awesome top that I love in a store a while back and told myself I was going to lose a few pounds and be able to wear it. Well, drama happened and I forgot about it. Now, I have a few more pounds to think about losing, but that's ok.
I can do it.
This top is totally worth it.
Actually, I can wear it right now, but it kinda makes me look pregnant. *LOL* And, I also want to tone up my arms because it's sleeveless.
I will post a picture of the top soon.
In other news...
I had a weird dream last night. It was about my niece Amanda. She was a little over a year-old, cute as a button like she was back then, and we were at a mall. I was as old as I am now-25-and I was carrying her in one of those baby backpacks around a mall.
I had some fries and was handing one back to her now and then, and I look back and she has them in her jumper's pocket like they come on those fast food containers-LOL-so I told her no more until she ate them. She got pissed off and began to cry, so I gave up and bought us both frozen yogurt cones. Well, then she kept dropping frozen yogurt on my head! I woke up after that.
It's just a little funny, because she recently turned eighteen in real life.
Maybe it's just that they are all growing up so fast...
- Location:In My Room
- Mood: content
- Music:Hinder "Better Than Me"
Happiness is misery.
I am sitting here trying to help a friend out of his misery-when that's all I live in.
I sound like some fucking whiny ass teenager, I realize. I can't seem to help it. I can't feel good. I constantly worry about everything. I feel empty inside. Where my heart should be feels like an empty, cold box. Not cold because misery has made me cruel, but cold because I feel alone. I am surrounded by people, but I have never felt so goddamned alone.
Every time I think I feel good, it all goes away.
It all just goes away.
- Mood:
melancholy - Music:Lisa Marie Presley "When You Go"
This will be a blanket soon enough.
I am making it for my mom.
It's pretty much rainbow-colored yarn.
It's a lot brighter in person. My camera doesn't take such great pics.
- Location:Watching Ugly Betty
- Mood:
satisfied
and like you get all snotty and can't breathe...
- Mood: sad
- Music:Marilyn Manson "Coma White"
It is so weird. I hate to eat in front of my dad. I have no idea why. It's just crazy-and funny. I mean, I guess there is some underlying reason, but I don't know.
I hope I can talk to Cainnum this morning. He was not in a good place when we last spoke. I was supposed to call him at his mom's house, but I had a lot of family stuff I had to do. He sent me a text while I was sleeping today, so I assume he's alright for now. I just can't wait for him to get online.
Sammy broke his arm or something. His mom called Jim and this is what we heard:
-He did it by running into a wall.
-He has to have pins in it.
-He might not be able to use it again.
I never know what to believe from her. Unless I hear it from Katie or Mandy, I pretty much won't. Jim is worried. He tried to call the hospital number Sam's mom gave him a bunch of times. I talked to Patrick and he knows nothing about it. His mom doesn't either. He was on Mandy's MSN account because she was using his NB at some point and made it to where it automatically signed in.
I just hope my nephew is okay. We're all fucking worried.
This will just be a rant, but it's gonna come out here>>>>For some reason Jim thinks onions are deadly poison in their raw/whole form. He will eat onions if something is cooked in them, but not like onion rings or anything. I couldn't even eat my onion slice today, because he was being a butt plug about it. I had to wrap the motherfucker in a napkin! I find this amusing now, but at the time it just frustrated me. I mean, if we even cut an onion a half a fucking mile away from him he will go nutsy. Sometimes that kind of pisses me off. Mom is totally scared to even eat a bit of onion while he's in the same vicinity!
Enough from me today...I have to pee...and get breakfast...and do other randomness.
- Location:On my arse somewhere in the South.
- Mood:
worried - Music:Circa Survive "Stop the Fuckin' Car"
I hope the best for them all.
My friend Emily, who lives in Australia and has been to Australia Zoo and met Steve and his daughter is so broken up about it. He was her hero.
I got online right as Jen got offline. :(( She is so busy getting ready for faire that she never has any time to spend online anymore. Damn rennies...hehe j/k Tazzy.
Lisa is having some problems with her eyes, and they are thinking it might be glaucoma. I hope not. I hope she just needs a new prescription or something. She went to the doctor yesterday and was going to call me after to let me know what they said, but I fucking fell asleep and when I woke up it was too late to call her. I am going to call her this afternoon. She's having trouble driving and her vision is fuzzy she told me...
So, I read the two Coreys (Feldman & Haim) are going to have their own reality show. Apparenlty, broke and homeless Haim is moving in to Feldman's house, where he lives with his with in suburban Los Angeles. The word 'trainwreck' comes to mind---and who doesn't like to see a good trainwreck...a I right? hehe
- Location:Bed
- Mood: gloomy
- Music:"Cancer"~My Chemical Romance
| VoicePost 463K 2:31 | (no transcription available) |
It's so quiet everywhere except in my head, then I'll hear something along the lines of a creak in the floorboards or voices I can't make out and it makes me want to hide in the corner under a pile of blankets. I am afraid mom is getting worse. The stroke in March really did a number on her. I would take her place in a minute if it meant no pain to her. I am afraid of a certain scream. The same scream I heard the evening Eddie died. I am so terrified that particular scream will break my silence again.
Sometimes I think about it and I can't even breathe.
I can't sleep or get my thoughts in order.
This lack of genuine rest is leaving me with horrid thoughts.
Took some stills from it...
DAVEY HAVOK
ADAM CARSON (the "info" thing is because i got these from the MTV.com vid.)
JADE PUGET
HUNTER BURGAN
More HERE.
- Location:Watching Three's Company
- Mood: content
I talked to my sister last night. She called me and we talked for about ten minutes or so. I don't know what's gonna happen...
- Location:On My Bed
- Mood:
exhausted - Music:MCR "The Black Parade"
This is BJ Carter, younger sister of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter (Paris Hilton's ex) and I think she is so beautiful.
She has apparently been down on her luck in the past...assault...DUI...I hope things get really good for her.
BJ is now doing a reality show on E! with her family called HOUSE OF CARTERS:
Sister and brother Angel & Aaron (18 year-old twins), sister Leslie (20), and brother Nick (26)
BJ (24) is seated on the table.
- Location:Chatting w/Jen on my Bed
- Mood:
creative - Music:LMP "Turbulence"
Half past 6am and I can't sleep...again.
Where are you when I need you? Never here, that's for sure. I miss you. I miss our walks. I miss talking all night and writing notes to each other...I think I still have it somewhere. I want to hate you. I want to hate everything about you and what you did to us-but, I can't. Too many years and I still hold hope that far outweighs the hate I can muster. I looked up to you. I wanted to be best friends. I tried keeping the peace so many times. Every time you betrayed me. You had so many chances. You had so many dreams that you never followed. I learned to brush off those big plans. Look at where you are now. Look at what you've become. Look at what I've become.
Oh, wait I forgot...how could you?
You have been gone for years now.
And, I'm all alone.
Again and again.
I want to hate you.
You enjoy it.
- Location:*sigh* Insomnia's Cold Grip
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:The Polyphonic Spree "Wig In A Box"
-
It's so hot. I want winter to hurry up and get it's ass here.
-
I like Fig Newtons.
-
Chocolate is fucking great.
-
I have luggage that I have never really used, but I bought it because it was pretty.
-
I want to go on a road trip to somewhere fun.
-
I hate my teeth.
-
Painting is relaxing.
-
A blank page is one of the most beautiful things in the world to me.
-
I want a Gameboy Advance SP
-
Tetris makes me happy.
- Location:Watching Golden Girls
- Mood: sleepy
Just love...and don't be scared of it."
~ Kate Moennig
- Location:Bed
- Mood: sleepy
I can't seem to get off of my ass and do anything I know I need to do.
...and hours later (10:30am) I am back to finish the entry I started at 6:60am!
I need to figure out what it is that I want to do. I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I should just go...
... 11:03am...I can't even blog now.
- Location:Watching ELLEN
- Mood:
weird
- Location:Watching One Night Stand: Ellen DeGeneres
- Mood:
amused
Miss Willa Ford aka Amanda Williford:
(Willa & her professional partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy)
SHE'S A SINGER.
SHE'S A MODEL.
SHE DID THE LINGERIE BOWL.
SHE DID THE PUSSYCAT DOLL THING.
SHE POSED FOR PLAYBOY.
(Decided not to post the others...only what my brother would call "sideboob" showing here. LOL)
RANDOM PICTURES.
AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER, SHE SAYS...
I discovered Willa Ford on Mtv when she was on Mtv news years ago talking about all of these jackass hate sites devoted to her because she dated Backstreet Boy Nick Carter (aka Paris Hilton's future ex). I admit I had a bit of a boy band virus that lasted a year or so, but I got the vaccine and got rid of it. From the first time I saw the very charming and sweet Willa Ford on television, I was taken by her (not like THAT!) and I bought her album. She was much better than Britney (meaning she can actually carry a tune as opposed to just killing one.) and she was known as the BAD GIRL OF POP. How can you not love the bad girl of pop? Well, a lot of people didn't, they weren't ready for her and she had a difficult time in the music arena. She had a guest appearance on the now defunct Bob Saget show RAISING DAD, where she played a bully-in which she did nicely. She has also hosted for Mtv-she did the show I Bet You Will.
Well, that's about it for now. :)
- Location:Watching One Night Stand: Ellen DeGeneres
- Mood: content
DAVEY HAVOK in a scene from AFI's NEW VIDEO!♥♥♥♥♥♥
This man is awesome. The band is amazing. They deserve all of the good that comes to
them. I can't wait to see their new video. They are one of my absolute favorite bands of all
time.
ALL GROWN UP...
♥♥♥♥♥♥
- Location:Watching Three's Company
- Mood: tired
But, thats not right. Its not their fault. Its all on you. You made yourself a loser, and you are the only one who can fix that.
So you need to pick your ass up, dust it off, and remedy the situation youre ashamed to be in. It wont get any better if you dont. When it all comes down to it, you can do one of two thing with the feelings you dont like having about yourself: A) You can accept them. Stay in your safety zone and dont do shit about any of it. B) Change them. You can think about what you think would make you happy. It might take a few tries to find what actually DOES make you happy, but its going to be worth it.
If you choose A you will probably die miserable and alone with people resenting you almost as much as you hate yourself. You will be on the inside looking out the window to the world. If you choose B, you take a chance. Fuck looking out the window and wishing you were outside playing in the world, you step out onto the ledge and jump onto the trampoline below and land right beside that big pile of dog shit instead of in it.
This would be the talk I gave myself a while ago.
I felt like posting it for the hell of it.
- Mood: amused
